One Woman Doesn’t Buy The Idea That Women Have To Be Young To Be Happy

"Trying to fight aging, stop time, and stay as we were is utterly pointless."

Aging has been made out to be the worst thing that could possibly ever happen to you, especially if you are a woman. Millions of dollars are spent every year on ways to slow down nature, to hide and conceal the fact that we are all growing old, when the truth is — we are simply getting better.

Yes, you heard me right — better.

The thing is, I don't really care how saggy my boobs are (and trust me, they are totally saggy, I mean right down to my belly button and heading towards my knees). I don't care if my lips are getting thinner, if I need reading glasses, and if I prefer a nice cup of tea and an early night every now and then instead of clubbing till the early hours of the morning in stupid high heels that, frankly, no one can actually dance in.

Photo Credit: Tova Leigh
Photo Credit: Tova Leigh

All of that is just fluff and does not matter (not even one little bit).

I am not sure what happened to me when I turned 40, but I think I had one of those "fuck it" moments when I realized that life is too short to waste on worrying about what others think of me, or how I look, or how to please everyone. It hit me that this was no "dress rehearsal," this was my actual life and it was time to live it to the absolute fullest.

How ironic is it that many women say that they feel better in their skin in their 40s, 50s, 60s than they did in their 20's?

Could it be that with age comes a confidence that goes beyond those killer abs and zero thigh gaps we all are made to think are more important than global heating?

There is something so bloody sexy about a woman that is confident and comfortable in her own skin, so I guess what I am trying to say is that I personally fine aging pretty hot.

So why are we told otherwise? Why are women around the world sold the idea that, actually, we should stay young forever? That we need a million different products to stretch our skin, keep us slim, maintain our hair color vibrant, our vaginas tight like virgins and our asses bouncy like cushions.

One word: MONEY.

You see, we live in a world that revolves around BRANDS and millions go into feeding our insecurities so that companies who make all these products that do not actually help us, can continue making more and more cash.

It is that simple.

I spoke to a friend this morning about this theory of mine and I told her how inspired I am by older women who are celebrating their age but looking the part in the most fabulous and confident way. I told her how sexy they look to me and how empowering and liberating I find them, and to be honest, I nearly flipped over the table at the cafe we were sitting in because I was so excited, when she asked: "But don't you think it has to do with men not wanting to date older women? I mean, most men prefer younger women, so isn't that one of the reasons why as women we want to "stay young"?

Damn.

Did not see that one coming but happy she brought it up because we need to be honest here and admit the truth, right, ladies?

Not generalizing or giving guys a bad reputation because there are plenty of men who would date a woman their age and even older, but truth be told, most guys do seem to go for younger women.

Why is that?

Personally (and I am guessing not everyone will agree to this), I think it has little to do with looks and more to do with something else. Don't get me wrong, as much as I am sure most guys wouldn't object to making out to a woman who is attached to a pair of perky boobs as opposed to breastfeeding, gravity-got-me, saggy ones, I actually think that some men probably find older women intimidating or hard to cope with.

I realize this is the biggest generalization on the face of the planet, but go with me for a minute — looking back to my own 20s, I was pretty insecure and I probably let a few guys treat me (I want to say "like shit" but that would be an exaggeration, so let's just say) like less than I deserved, whereas as a 42-year-old, I probably would have told them what part of my body they could kiss (my ass) and to not to let the door hit them on their way out.

And while some men don't mind a confident woman and may even find that sexy, there are plenty of guys who don't.

But the thing is ladies, I personally find pretending really exhausting.

When I was an actress I kept having to pretend I was ten years younger than my actual age. I did this because there were more parts for younger women (because, apparently, only women in their 20s live in the world, the rest of us live on the moon), and because in the film industry your career is to begin with going to be a short one if you are a woman, you might as well try to make it as long as you can by lying about your age.

But I hated it.

When I left the acting world and fell into blogging the first thing I did was tell everyone how old I am. It has been so liberating being able to say, "I am 42, I've had three kids, two C-sections, I breastfed, and actually — I am not supposed to look as if I am 20."

And don't get me wrong — I do not think for one minute women need to "let themselves go." I think presenting ourselves in a way that makes us happy and feel confident is key, but trying to fight aging, stop time and stay as we were is utterly pointless and completely impossible.

So celebrate your age, ladies, your lives, your experiences and life stories — they are truly worth telling!

To follow Tova's Blog on Facebook please visit www.facebook.com/mythoughtsaboutstuff/ 

GET SOME POSITIVITY IN YOUR INBOX

Subscribe to our newsletter and get the latest news and exclusive updates.